How to Help Your Child Build Their Self-Esteem and Confidence

Self-esteem and confidence are crucial to the healthy development of children. Some studies show that children start developing their self-esteem and confidence as early as age five, and there is evidence that children with high self-esteem and confidence become highly successful adults. It is a parent’s job to help their children develop the confidence and self-esteem that will be important throughout their lives. Here are some strategies that can help with this.

Set Achievable Goals

Succeeding at something they like significantly impacts a child’s confidence and self-esteem. Talk to your child to find out what they like and then set goals for what they want to achieve. Start with simple and achievable goals to introduce them to success, then increase the complexity and difficulty as they age. Some simple things include asking them to put their toys away, do the dishes, or dress themselves.

Give Them Choices

Self-esteem is often tied to having control over your life. Giving your children choices is a great way of giving them some control over their lives. When doing so, it is important to also encourage them to trust their judgement and choices. For example, you could let them choose what to eat for lunch or their outfit to wear to school.

Spend Quality Time with Them

Spending time with children through meaningful interactions is essential to their development and relationships in the future. Spending time with a child does not take much out of your day, as you can do it over breakfast or during dinner.

Parents can also spend quality time with their kids by finding something they like to do and doing it together. Doing this is especially important for foster carers as spending quality time with children in care can show that you care about them, are willing to listen, and that they can trust you. Foster carers who need help finding time to spend with foster children can check out the resources available at, where they can also get the support they need to be the best foster carers possible.

Encourage Them to Stop Seeking Perfection

Many kids think that being perfect is the best way to impress their parents. However, adults know that perfection is a game that no one wins. They may waste time and effort on something, only to be disappointed if it is not perfect. Their self-esteem and confidence will suffer when this happens. While it is important to encourage them to do their best for the best outcomes, striving for perfection is not the way to go. Show them you value their effort and progress even when the result is imperfect.

Let Them Hear You Praising Them

Praise has a significant effect on a child’s self-esteem. Children are always watching and listening, so use this to your advantage by letting them overhear you praising them to another adult.


It is vital for a parent to help their child build their self-esteem and confidence. As mentioned, children with high self-esteem and confidence typically end up becoming highly successful adults. Teach your children to value, love, and believe in themselves; doing so will benefit them throughout their lives.

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